Happy Fathers Day

I’m hoping you reared your childrens with a sick sense of humor.

I know I did.

It may save their sanity later.

Mine would do something like this in a heartbeat.


The youngest daughter is the one you really need to keep an eye on.

She was paying lots of attention when I wasn’t looking apparently.


OK, I Need A Fucking Intervention

Things were already out of hand but I can’t stop myself apparently.

My name is Phil and I am a Hoarder.

Fuck me.

This garage out here is already packed so full of shit that I literally have like little pathways just to get around in it.

So what do I do?

Go get some more shit of course.

I have a buddy who told me that he was going to go over to his sisters and get a truckload of crap and they were going to have a yard sale.

he then told me that there were some Starrett micrometers and a bunch of tools that were going to be there so I should show up.

Yeah, about that.

We are scheduled to go on vacation next month so The Wifely Unit has been snagging all of my extra money to pay for that shit so my discretionary funds are pretty slim right now.

If you are married you know how it works, she has money, we have money but I don’t have any money.

Gotta love that arrangement don’t ya?


But I said Fuck It and stopped and snagged a few bucks out of the ATM and headed over there, it’s only a little over a mile away.


Holy crap was I not expecting what I found. Some of the stuff was from a friend of hers who had been a mechanic since Jesus had training wheels and there was a SHIT TON of tools and equipment there!

I started in looking around and thought to myself that it’s a damn good thing I didn’t have much money because I could have spent a paycheck there probably.

The first two things I saw were a couple of nasty looking old apprentice machinist boxes full of crap. A Kennedy and a Craftsman. I have been wanting one of those for over a year now but everyone wants an arm and a leg for them.

They were rusty and dirty but not dented to fuck.

I kept on going and saw all kinds of stuff I would have liked to have but remembered the amount of funding I had available so I asked his sister what she wanted for one of them. I about had a runaway inside when she said $10 apiece. (Insert poker face here) One of them had about twenty old metal files in it and those were ten bucks too.


It only took me long enough to see some other old bastard looking at the boxes for me to tell her that I would take them both.

So I paid her and then I started BS’ing with my buddy for a while. Pretty soon he says I need to look at the Starrett  Micrometer.

I take a look and it’s a nice one, still in the case but it’s like a three inch micrometer.

A bit too big for what I need and way more money than I had anyway.

Next thing I know, his sister comes over and says she has some other Starrett stuff but it belongs to this old dude who isn’t there.

She opened up a box full of stuff and inside is two older Starrett dial indicator kits, still in the boxes, for $100 apiece.


Fuck. Now the pressure is on because I want one of those damn things.

Pretty soon she says that she can cut the price some and because I am friends with her brother, we can see what we can come up with.


To make this long story shorter, I walked out of there with both tool boxes and the dial indicator, for $64.00, everything I had on me.

IMG_20180615_200339 (1)

You see, this is how I justify this hoarding problem.

That was a ridiculously good deal.

Now where ya gonna put that shit Sport?

That’s the fucking problem.

IMG_20180615_200132 (1)


So I spent the next four hours cleaning all the crap out of the drawers, there were a few keepers but most of it was mechanics junk drawer kind of shit.


Then it was a good scrubbing and most of a can of WD-40 cleaning the boxes up as much as I could.

Then it was move a bunch of shit around out in the garage to make room for one of them up on the bench.


I think what needs to happen here is I need to have a fucking yard sale of my own and get rid of some of this crap I have laying around.

That way I could make a little money.

And room for more stuff.



This One Mystifies Me

Why is it that it seems to me that if you stick a cup of coffee in the nucularizer and heat it back up until it’s so hot you can barely drink it, that it gets cold again faster than a cup of freshly poured coffee?


I swear it’s true.

TGIF Has New Meaning For Me

Four ten hour days in a row makes for long days and wears my narrow little ass out.

I have a very physical job at times and do a ton of walking around back and forth all day on concrete and steel grating.

One guy had one of those pedometer thingies there once and said he was averaging 4-5 miles a day and  I believe it.

We don’t wear tennis shoes either.

I have a pair of Redwing steel toed boots.

The other day I was running 1 inch bolts down with a 3/4 drive impact gun.

I took out 24 bolts with nuts and tightened 48 that someone else had already taken out and put back in hand tight, and that was just one small task to get to a bigger objective.

You have to tighten these bolts in a sequence and go around them 3 times for final torque down. Trust me, that impact gun will rattle your fucking teeth out and turn your arms into jelly after a while. I’m just glad it’s not a 1 inch drive impact like I used to have to use to tighten the lug nuts on heavy trucks and trailers with.

We use 24 inch Crescent wrenches all the time and had a 5 foot long pipe wrench out for that job too,

I ain’t no Spring Chicken anymore, that heavy shit wears my old ass out.


On the other hand, here it’s Friday and I’m off today and don’t have to be back until Monday now.

I’m hoping that it won’t take me long to adapt to this schedule because 3 day weekends I can certainly appreciate.

I’m also hoping that I can keep up here, you can also trust me when I say that there are already moments when I want to say fuck it and not post anything because I am tired.

That ain’t the way Blogging works though.

So thanks for your support and we shall see how this all pans out.

After all,  humans are some of the most adaptable organisms on the planet.




Normalcy Bias

The normalcy bias, or normality bias, is a belief people hold when facing a disaster. It causes people to underestimate both the likelihood of a disaster and its possible effects, because people believe that things will always function the way things normally have functioned.

Aaaaaaaaand, they get their asses handed to them for not being able to see what’s coming because of it.

Like this.



Shit happens, keep your damn eyes open.

Got A Notice For Jury Duty

It happens every few years.

Unfortunately because of my fucked up back, me no can do.

For those who don’t know, I fucked my back up when I was 20 and lived in misery for 5 years until they finally figured out what was wrong. I then went under the knife for 5 hours while they opened me up, took out one and a half discs, cut a chunk of my pelvis out and broke it into little pieces and then stacked those pieces up around the lowest vertebra before your spine hits your pelvis. It had to fuse together like a broken bone heals.

L-5 and L-6 they worked on. It took two years to heal up and has been fucked up ever since. I got a nice wicked zipper down my lower back out of the deal and had zero reportable income for one entire year back in 86 because I couldn’t work above the table.

So yeah, I have a  very fucked up back. I have been a mechanic anyway for forty years now.

There are some things I have to be damn careful about but I manage.


One thing I can’t do though is to sit for long periods of time. Long road trips kill me, I have to stop and get out every so often and walk around to get the feeling back in my leg.

Sometimes it feels like someone is pouring ice water down the side of my right leg onto my foot and there is a dead spot on my tiny little right butt cheek from them cutting some nerve when they opened me up.

I still have a pinched nerve back there and my fucking leg goes to sleep if I sit too long.

So I sent off to be excused again. I haven’t had to serve on one yet because of this issue.

Now I have to wait for their reply.

I can get a doctor to verify this shit if I have to.

What It Was Like Here Last Saturday


When I first saw this I would have bet five bucks that this was filmed near here up in the Columbia Gorge

After a bit of searching, it turns out this was in Austria. Hey NotWende, you got a big umbrella, right?


It looks very similar to the Columbia Gorge from this vantage point and I am here to tell you, we aren’t kidding around here when we say it rains a lot because this is exactly the kind of shit we get around here too.

I got woke up last Saturday by what sounded like a fucking Typhoon blowing through and it was raining so hard that I couldn’t see across the street because of all the water. When I stepped out the front door to look, there were two creeks out front in the road four feet across. One on each side of the street.

The wind was howling and what woke me up was a lightning strike that sounded like it was in my back yard.

An hour later and it was like it never happened.

Yeah, it rains a lot here sometimes.